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Friday, August 27th, 2004
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10:39 am - arg school
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So i figured if I posted this then i wouldn't have a ton of ppl asking me what my schedule is and if we have class together. so here goes nothing...
(red) 1. IB Bio 2- Schoonmaker
(blue)2. Chamber- East
(red)3. English- Christensen
(blue)4. Peer Mediation/ Peer Helping- Ash Reph
(red)5. IB Math Studies- McCall
(blue)6. Geosystems- Buffington
(both)7. World Hist/Geo 1- Schall
That's about it. If you want to comment go ahead.
After school activities....drama and choir and if work counts then that too. Damn it no time no time no time....make time. works for me. catcha you guys on the flip side.
current mood: awake
current music: the sounds of people waking up...isn't it lovely?
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
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9:13 am - why!?!
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So it's summer time, right? Then why the hell do I keep getting up at bumfuck early o'clock in the morning? I could go to bed at 4 in the am and still wake up at 8:45. It's making me mad. So let's see. Yesterday was Jordy's doc appt. but as you could prolly tell I wasn't allowed to go to help out with that. But the day got better. I downloaded a few songs and then I checked msgs on the phone and low and behold there are two msgs from Chen. I was so happy..b/c he usually never leaves msgs. So I took a shower while I waited for him to call again and that worked out perfectly b/c like right after I got out the phone rang.
The appt. was over and he wanted to know if he could steal me and take me to Leesburg with him and Meg. So I said yes (of course) and so he came to pick me up at like 11:30 and we went over there. But first we went to Hard Times Cafe to grab some lunch (sweet tea and a grilled chicken sandwhich). Then we run home b/c mom needs help with the boys (ryan and kaleb). Then after that we chill there for awhile then Meg, Chen and I go to Wally World to get a few things.
Then we go back home b/c Meg and Kris are going out with there friend to dinner or a movie or something like that. But beore they left they put Jordan and Kaleb to bed b/c they were being loud and boys. Ryan was being fussy so Chen rocked him to sleep. It was so cute. I really wish I had a camera. But they both fell alseepy on the chair and mom and I tried to pick up the house a little so that there was room to move around.
After that mom thought I was bored so she taught me how to use their DVD player..so I poped in 10 Things I hate About You. At one point the baby woke up and I wanted Chen to sleep a little bit more. So I picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Little man slept for a really long time. I was happy b/c he usually doesn't sleep at night..but I didn't know how it would effect how he slept last night.
Anyway..dad calls ands says that he wants me home...by now it's about 10:15ish...so we put Jordy and Leb back to bed (they had woken up and I fed them dinner). Oh our way down the stairs Meg and Kris are on their way up. So we are all on our way home.
So here is where I am really going to start...
I'm sorry. I didn't know when I had to be home. I don't want to put you or your family in that position. And I am truely sorry. I also want to apologize for what I had said in the car. I know that's not what you meant. I was just frustrated with my parents and I was sad b/c I didn't want to see you like that. If you dont want to talk to me I'll understand. But just to let you know. That I am truly sorry..and I'm not just saying it...and I love you very much. I always want you to know that.
Well that's all for now folks...
current mood:  okay
current music: Burn- Usher
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| Monday, June 21st, 2004
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10:15 pm - so awesome
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OK so it would ttly help if I could remember what my last entry said. "So stupid EB..." So I guess I woke up too early for summer time (8:45 am) and cleaned...which I think I mentioned in the last one. So Chen came over...yes you guys it's summer time therefore you are in the All Chen All The Time Channel. So I was in a good mood until now, but I guess I'll just have to get over it. Anyway..we played tennis again and then he stayed for dinner. We BBQed on the grill outside...yeah so I was planning on writing a whole bunch of stuff..not in the mood anymore.
get you all later
current mood:  crushed
current music: none
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10:55 am - nothing to do at the moment..
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Ok..good stuff. I'm done cleaning my rooom and organizing the toy closet so now I'm bored b/c there's nothing to do. Caitlin!!! You need to teach me the picture thng and make me an icon dealy. So now I can't remember what my last entry was about so let me go and re-read that and get back to you...
So I would just like to apologize now for all my typos and spelling issues..you guys know I can't spell.
I guess I left it all off at dinner. Chen stayed for dinner and it was great eventhough we only had leftovers..leave it to Chen to eat all my food though. J/k honey. Im sorry that my parents made you eat all of it. I told you that you didn't have to. It was funny b/c Mikey was sleeping through dinner and at one point he told dad that he wanted the sweet and sour pork. So dad got up and took the pork off the table and said someone wants to eat this later. Did he ever wake up? No. But oh well that's what you get? Then after dinner I had to clear the table as usual. Dad left to go listen to Gunsmoke at 8:20..oh no he missed 20 minutes of it..he's going to die. But that was ok b/c mom decided to have a heart-to-heart convo with me and Chen about when she was growing up.
After that...mom was like let's play Jenga. So I had to go look for Jenga in our now organized toy closet. Mom, Chen, and I played Jenga and it was fun. We were stupid b/c at first we all forgot to put the blocks back on top. And the entire time I was wondering why the tower wasn't getting any taller or why it wasn't shaking. So then we had to stop the game while I fixed that problem. I don't remember how tall it got but at one point Chen distracted me and I made the damn tower fall. Stupid Chen....I LOVE YOU.
Then he had to go ang get mom from Meg's and take Meg to Wally World. So I walked him down to the car and "said" bye. Got back upstairs with the intention of taking a shower (which I did) and then continuing to clean my closet. Guess what happened...yeah that's right I feel asleepy (Chenism). I didn't even finish my milkshake..which was really funny b/c it was nest to me when I went to sleep but I was gone when I woke up. YEY! for whoever stole it from me *shakes fists*.
Sorry I wasn't able to call...you tired me out when we were playing tennis. "Hey EBz...go fetch". The funny thing about that was I was actually wake for like half and hour and then I concked (sp?) out. So I am apologizing for that. You know how I hate when I tell you that I am going to do something but then I don't. So sorry..ooo I feel a song coming on...I'm sorry...So sorry...that's it..that was my song. Yeah I need better lyrics...Shut up. I need something to do...so once again if you have any ideas...you know the deal
current mood: bored
current music: Ocean Avenue
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| Sunday, June 20th, 2004
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9:50 pm - not tired...so more cleaning
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Yeah so I found the perfect song to represent how I feel/ felt/ all the time...I've just been singing all day and I was singing it before but I had an epiphany (sp?) while I was taking a shower..it was great..my epiphany (sp?)..not my shower..well my shower was good too..so here goes nothing....get back to you later...off in daydream land
Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild, so calm and dull, these hearts they race from self control
Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine, ee're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all
My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,
Or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.
The words are hushed lets not get busted, just lay entwined here, undiscovered
Safe from the earth and all the stupid questions...
"Hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear, so we can get some
Hands down this is the best day I ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights
The scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet, and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and let you in
And you stood at the door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it
current mood:  ecstatic
current music: Hands Down
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6:29 pm - such an eventful day
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So when did I go to slep this morning? How knows..I think it was around 4:30 b/c I had to pring something for my uncle that was like a million pages long for his exam. Then I called Chen and we talked for as long as that damn cordless phone would let us. Then I clean out my closet and made my hobbit hole more comfy. Oh man! It's so comfy now...and dark. I wish I could live in there but I can't. Then I was up at 8 to get ready to take my uncle to the airport and go to church. That was fun. I got to take everybody on a wonderful adventure down the Dulles Toll Road except that we were in the airport lane so no toll for me! YEY! Massive amounts of church goers today. That was fun. Not really. I was bored out of my mind but oh well. I am a good pretender when it comes to that. "What did you learn today"..."About God". Just kidding. Oh yeah. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
After church I took everyone out for lunch to Wu's Garden. Awesome possium chinese food ther you guys. And as we were leaving I saw Cindy and Mommy Wu. And then we all ended up talking for like 15 minutes. So now I might be going on a fun filled adventure to SIX FLAGS! Oh yeah. Then my parents are all like let's go look at houses..So we did that for like and hour and a half. Well I stayed in the car a listened to music...my favorite country songs were on the radio. Then as soon as we got home I made an imortant phone call which I was dying to make since I woke up. Then Chen came over to play tennis with me and we did that for about two hours or so.
We got back upstairs and Mikey wanted me to make him cookies b/c mom was sleeping so I did. And this brings me to my bad mood...So mom wake up and goes "I was wondering where all the noise was coming from?"..Chen and I were making the cookies...and So I told her that Michael wanted me to make them..so she goes and says all the things I'm doing wrong. It just pisses me off at the fact that I was trying to let her get some rest and do something nice for her and then here she comes with this unapreciating (sp?) attitude about everything. I was so mad. But then her and dad went downstairs to the gym and I was able to calm down.
So while the cookies are in the over baking...I'm putting Chen to sleep b/c he has a headache and now I am able to break away for a while to write about all of it in you (my journal). But you guys all know me. I'm still up about checking up on things...b/c I care and I don't want to the house to burn down. So let's play a game. On a scale from one to ten rate my day...one being excruciatinly (sp?) boring and ten being the best thing since sliced bread. You decide. That would be a really god-awful reality TV show, wouldn't you think?
Plans for tomorrow? I don't know yet..now that it's summer I just go with the flow...speaking of which you guys will have to keep reminding me of day day it is b/c I lose track. Oh yeah and the list of things that will keep me occupied when I am bored and at home are starting to grow short b/c I keep getting them out of the way..like my summer assignments. So read any good books lately? Seen any good movies? Speaking of which...SPIDERMAN 2 comes out soon. Getting ready for that. So dinner time..laterz
current mood:  busy
current music: Forgetful Lucy
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| Saturday, June 19th, 2004
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12:23 pm - oh the hottness
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Man oh man oh man oh man..I could go on like this forever. But I think that would piss a few people off. Let's see where am I right now? Well I don't really know, but I'm having fun. Meera I hate you b/c you weren't at the water water everywhere event of the summer. I missed you so much, but I'm happy that you and Tie had a good drive up to WVA. Ok, so plans for the summer...work, work, and have I mentioned work? But hell I need the money bad. I can't feel my leg b/c I'm sitting on it weird. I love to CLEAN. I am helping Chen clean today. It's gonna be great. Caitlin, your favoite song is on the radio. The one that you couldn't get out of your head on Thursday. But if I knew the name of it that might help..but do you know the one I;m talking about. Be back soon...time for breakfast...
Back..so full...so "What's your fantasy" if on the radio now. I haven't heard this song in all of forever. So what was I talking about? Ummmm..let's see. So yesterday was AWESOME! I didn't go to school, but my parents thought I did. It was great. Then I chilled for a while until about 1-ish. Off to Ahmad's for the H2O fight. That lasted for like 2 hours and it was great. I'll try and get some pictures up. When Caitlin shows me how to..eh em..that means YOU! So now it's summer and I'm a SENOIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my summer assignments are done b/c I woke up at 9:15 this morning and finished them in 15 minutes. It's really funny b/c as I'm writing this I am thinking back on all the things that have happened this year and I'm laughing.
You know what's great...talking to Ahmad. So anyway, what did you guys talk about last night? Sorry very curious. B/c he asked me some weird questions. Or lack there of. Anyways, back to cleaning. Luv you guys...have a great summer.
current mood:  ditzy
current music: Good Vibrations
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| Monday, June 14th, 2004
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11:37 am - lalalala
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YEY!!! CHEN IS HOME!!!! I am so happy. I couldn't sleep last night...I don't know why. Umm let's see. I am going to be going out for dinner tonight. After a long long long long long weekend of no life without my baby. I took two finals today. And I think I did ok. I mean they were a little bit harder than I thought. But it's all good b/c school is OVER!!! Well not until Friday but you know what I mean. Nothing to do until Thursday. Well that's when my last final is. Wednesday is graduation and that should be fun be that's always fun. But there will be much crying and saying good-bye when you don't want to. Parents are still being a pain in the ass..but I figure if I pretend that I am happy then everything wil be ok for now. Oh man! Only one year left. I guess..I just have to keep my mind off a few things in order to get through this. Well...not going to be home for the rest of the week..I'm going somewhere very far way from here. HANG THE KITTY! But we won't talk about that right now. Really wanting some good drinking...you know what I am talking about. Well I happy that everything is back to normal, relatively speaking of course. So I'm out for now...see you all later. Love you guys!
current mood:  flirty
current music: Drowning in your love??
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| Thursday, June 10th, 2004
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8:36 pm - so sad
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Ok so tonight Chen leave to go to NC and I won't see him until Monday. This is going to be the first time we haven't been together. I know I know shut up EB...but what am I supposed to say. You think about how you would feel if you were madli in love with someone and then they had ato go away for a while. Don't ask me how I am doing...why b/c I am sad...DUH! so weekend plans. Dont have any. Except I might go visit mom and dad...and i need to do some major car cleanage. OK so I know that putting in lyrics doesn't really count but hey its how I feel, you know? Like my note said..I love you with all of my heart.
I try but I can't seem to get myself
To think of anything but you
Your breath on my face
Your warm gentle kiss, I taste the truth
I taste the truth
We know what I came here for
So I won`t ask for more
Chorus
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you
So I`ll hold you tonight
Like I would if you were mine
To hold forever more
And I`ll saver each touch that I wanted
So much to feel before (To feel before)
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this
Repeat Chorus
Oh baby
I can`t fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
Take my hand
Make my wish
Baby, your command?
Yeah
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
(I wanna be) I wanna be with you (I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you (Yeah)
(I wanna be with you) I wanna be
I wanna be with you
(I wanna be)
(I wanna be)
(I wanna be with you) Yeah
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be, I wanna be baby
I wanna be
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you, yeah
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you
current mood: crushed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
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9:27 pm - better...
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Had a little chat with my best and now I'm feeling a whole lot better. I just want to hold you in my armms and take all your pain away..because I love you. You know I love you. It's a little hard when you push me away. But I am always here..always. This is for you..you mean so much to me...I'd do anything for you...
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...
Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...
And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...
current mood:  exhausted
current music: The Reason
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6:15 pm - can we say drama queen..but still feeling like shit..who knew?
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So yeah about the past few entries...ummm..let me explain...Hi welcome to EB is a big over reacter...well I had over thought something, but now I am better on that issue. Oh the other hand...some people are really pissing the hell out of me. No it's not you Meera or you Caitlin...or even Ahmad. But you guys probably know who I am talking about. Meera you had written in your journal about it...andn we usaually talk about it when the three of us are alone. I don't know. Maybe the summer will be good for all of us. Just to get away from everything for a while. Things on the homefront are crappy. They piss me off and I piss them off...it's a great life cycle. I don't know. I'm just not happy to be home. Ever. I don't look forward to seeing my parents, but I can't leave Michael with them. Although, he hasn't really been around long enough to know what they really are like. You know the feeling when you can't make everyone happy. Yeah I know how that goes. I dont know. I just don't know what to do. Life is great when I'm not here. Anywhere else but here. I wish that I was just graduating this year instead of nest year. I better chance of getting away from hell. I don't know. I wish...I guess I just wish. Gotta love it when you try and call people but they don't answer their phones. Of course she did say that she couldn't find it. So I guess that's a good excuse, right? I don't know. I guess this is also an apoloy because I can't make anybody happy. Or at least I don't feel like I can. Always doing things wrong..I just don't know what to do.
I guess all I can say is I'm sorry....
current mood: crappy
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
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1:04 pm - ......
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I've never felt so alone in my life...but am I over looking or thinking anything?
current mood: gloomy
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11:02 am - feeling like shit
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So I came home ealry from school today b/c I am going through this weird psuedo mental breakdown thing. I dont know. Been extremely depressed of late and I don't really know what's going on. But if you knew me really well...you'd be able to guess what's going on. Well I only know two people who really know what's going on and I know that they won't say a word of it to anybody. I think that the concert tomorrow is going to be a huge challege for me. I can even sing the words to the songs right now b/c ( I am trying to memorize the words) I break into tears. This is going to suck. I'll probably end up running off the stage crying. I don't know. If you knew the songs we are singing then you mightbe able to understand. I mean they just have so much meaning to them. And then you know me. I put even more meaning behind them and look what happens: I get screwed! I don't know maybe Ahmad is right I shouldn't be over thinking this. maybe it's no big deal. But then what if it is. Welcome to my brain. I don't know how to stop dwelling on things. That's just the person that I am. I don't know. But you have to understand that it is really hard to keep my mind off of it, you know? I mean I will be able to for a while but it always comes right back to smack me in the face. I don't know if my music therapy will even work now. There are too many songs that I'll just start crying to. Anyway, I'm getting started on my college resume for Mrs. Blakeley so I'll be back later. While you're waiting here's some food for thought....
Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
That's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love
Pretty girl, pretty girl
Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
You can never get 'em out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love
current mood:  depressed
current music: Broken
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| Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
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3:54 pm - rain, rain, and more rain
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So so all it's been doing lately is raining and I dont like it very much. I want to frickin' go swimming and I can't b/c the stupid ass lifeguards (which we don't need) close the pool until it stops. So I got a massage last night and now my back really hurts. I think it made it worse...thanks dad...geez break me why don't you. Can you tell that I am bored? I need Caitlin here so she can help me do stuff to this. Plans for the rest of the week...tomorrow is the band concert and I think I am going to help set up for that rather usher for it b/c I want to spend sometime with my special friend. If you know me you know who I am talking about..if you don't too damn bad b/c I'm not going to tell you. And I only need a few hours anyway..stupid Tri-M..taking up so much time. I hate it when there's nothing to listen to on the radio but you listen to it anyway. I hate the radio. I was so mad today b/c we were supposed to watch Top Gun in history but instead we took our Document Analysis. But he said that we would watch it next class and that we are going to be watching movies the rest of the year. Mr. Young said that we won't have anymore homework for the rest of the year either so that takes care of two classes. All I have to do for yearbook is finish off that project and had out yearbooks and then that class is done. What do I have left...? Math, Bio, Choir, and Tech...so choir and tech..like we are going to do anything in those classses. But there's our end of year Pop's Concert on Thursday...I have a solo..so everyone has to come hear me sing. If you don't know how I sing, ask around or get off your laszy ass and come hear me yourself. Math project due tomorrow..an essay on how life would be if there was not math. Can we say really easy? Ummm..bio??? What can I say? I think we are doing labs until the end of the year. That should be fun. Except not at all. EVER! I need to turn in my Outback application soon. I need to start working the end. I have no cash flow. Stupid saving for college and crap like that. Anyway...bored out of my mind..give me something to do you guys. Oh yeah. David Ludin came into choir today and sang songs with us. It was really fun.. he was like "EB, good job on your solo." I am so happy. He is such a good singer and I am happy to get a complement from him. BTW, apparently Sherry is coming to our concert on Thursday. I can't wait. She graduated when I was freshman and she is an awesome possium singer too. Later you guys.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Toxic...I'm toxic ("oh yeah")
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| Friday, May 28th, 2004
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10:48 pm - SO BORED!!!
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Ok so this is my new journal thanks to Caitlin b/c she rocks my socks and made me one. LALALALALALALA I got my new computer today and now I am figuring out how to use it. It's one of those great things in life where ppl are talking to you and you dont know how to work things yet and then you get all slow and retarded and stuff..now I am going to stop talking. So what to say what to say. I have this huge ass headache I wonder if it's b/c I haven't eaten? well sorry this first entry is so short i have to be up early in the morning. later gators..love you all...well some one in perticular..you know who you are..Kat you rock my sox.
current mood:  tired
current music: Ummm yeah...I love you...mix
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